Learning Differences in Children

Traditional support for children with learning differences focuses on diagnostic criteria for things like ADHD and dyslexia, but many children still experience difficulty in areas of learning without a diagnosis. The University of Washington breaks these learning difficulties down into four categories: Spoken language, written language, arithmetic, and reasoning. Learning differences that fall into one of these categories but do not meet diagnostic criteria are exacerbated by the lasting impacts of the Covid-19 pandemic on child development, and a lack of intervention at school is harming more children than ever. 

The Lasting Impacts of Covid

Limited socialization over the past two years since the Covid-19 pandemic began has led to many children experiencing delayed or even complete failure to develop the coping skills, social understanding, and verbal skills that are considered developmentally appropriate at their age. These delays can have just as great an impact on a child’s ability to learn as a learning difference with more formal diagnosis, but because there is no diagnosis to work from, these children often fail to qualify for services and in school intervention.

The three main delays we are noticing in children are task avoidance, limited social skills, and delayed verbal skills – all of which relate to learning difficulties in the areas of spoken and written language, arithmetic, and reasoning, none  of which guarantee a formal diagnosis and qualification for services. 

Task Avoidance

The most commonly observed impact is task avoidance. More and more children and teens are pushing aside things that feel challenging. If they aren’t successful right away, they simply move on to another task or activity. Task avoidance itself is not new, but the number of students using task avoidance as a coping strategy for imperfection is. 

So why is this happening? Brains are pattern-seeking, but children have experienced a huge break in pattern over the past few years. Closed schools, virtual learning, losing loved ones and opportunities to play and socialize in groups, and parents losing jobs are all breaks in the patterns that our brains have come to expect. With these changes and more, our nervous system simply doesn’t have the capacity to learn or do any more new stuff. 

Children aren’t avoiding tasks because they don’t want to try – they don’t have the capacity to. Behaviors adopted by children who are experiencing this reduced capacity might be mindless or endless scrolling on the phone, overplaying video games, refusing homework or chores, or running and hiding in the bathroom. 

Limited Social Skills

In line with the observed lack of capacity to try is a limitation of social skills for children who are new to the classroom. Whether Covid served as a 2-year break from “real school” or the child aged into a classroom when everything was virtual, that’s a long time to spend not regularly engaging with peers and learning how to socialize.

This difficulty to develop social skills comes back to that limited capacity to try. Socialization, engaging with peers, and following the rules of a classroom that isn’t inside your house are all new experiences for a child to have and patterns for their brain to adapt to. All of this “newness” can influence a child’s anxiety and stress levels, making it difficult to stay calm, connected, and engaged enough to learn in the classroom. 

Delayed Verbal Skills 

Finally, we are noticing a great delay in the verbal skills of younger children. They are speaking less and speaking later than they were pre-pandemic. This is primarily due to limited exposure to social exchanges, especially with peers, and has our children entering the school system with less experience in back-and-forth communication. Not only is this difficult for socialization among peers at school, it also impacts learning because young children are not able to fully participate in every aspect of school.

The Problem with School-Based Intervention

Oftentimes, school systems are ill-equipped to identify learning differences on time. Research shows that early intervention is key, but schools don’t have the protocols for proactivity so they wait for the child to fail.  Not only does the wait-and-see approach eliminate the benefits of early intervention, but it is also detrimental to children’s mental health.

Children do well if they can, but when they are lagging in specific basic skills sometimes doing well is too far out of reach. 

Outside of academic skills like reading or math, children are lagging in skills like flexibility, adaptability, focus, and the use of language and communication. When these students are struggling with anything in the school setting – academic or otherwise – they feel frustrated and confused. Adults are telling them to try harder but they don’t even have the skill they need to try in the first place. 

This zaps motivation for the child, burning them out, and causing them to become frustrated, irritable, and even hopeless because they cannot do what is being asked of them. These students are seen as task avoidant, disrespectful, or lazy, and these words label and follow them throughout their educational careers. 

Two Challenging Issues

Parents are often afraid to have their child diagnosed with a specific learning disability or attention disorder, but as we’ve illustrated above, a missing diagnosis can lead to more harmful, negative labels that the child then internalizes. This leads to two challenging issues. 

First, we have a child who did not receive the skills they need to be successful in a timely manner. This resulted in self-esteem damage that we must now work to repair. We cannot continue to harp on the skill without first helping the child believe that they are able to build the skill. We must improve the emotional damage before attempting to teach the missing learning skills. 

How Parents Can Help

If you know something is not right with your child in school – listen to your intuition! Schools do not have the protocols or resources to explore early intervention for every child who begins to show signs of a learning difference so as a parent you must advocate for your child and their learning.  

Keep up the good work

Once you find an intervention that works for your child at school – don’t stop. Many families see services as a stigma and want to “fix” the child and move on, but taking away services without a strategic plan won’t fix anything, it might even make the child’s performance and self-esteem worse. 

Know the Limitations of School-Based Interventions

Unless children fail miserably, they will often not qualify for services and accommodations in school. Even if a parent goes to a psychologist and gets a report saying the child has dyslexia or ADHD, if the school does not think they need the help or see the child is somehow getting by, they’re not going to get that support. But this does not mean that your child is not struggling on the inside. If your child has a learning difference or diagnosis but does not qualify for services at school, it is even more important that you do the work at home to ensure your child feels supported, safe, and emotionally happy and healthy.

How You Can Support Your Child’s Mental Health at Home

Mental health is just as important as physical health, and it is vital that you support your children’s mental health at home, especially if they aren’t getting the support they need at school. Here are a few key ways that you can support your child’s mental health at home, and for a more detailed explanation of how you can help, check out  this post from the Coach Franny blog. 

Managing Stress

High stress levels can leave you feeling like you are in fight or flight mode permanently, and children are no different. Help your child manage stress at home by focusing on slowing down and building coping strategies for frustrating or stressful situations. Ask your child to be your partner in this. Notice the expectations that result in upset and find out from your child what is getting in their way. You can also try to be consistent with your daily routines and structures, and remember to incorporate fun into everyday life!

Staying Connected

It can be easy to get wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, but your children need to feel connected to feel safe. Engaging in active listening to truly connect with your child, turning off devices during designated family time, and committing to eating together as a family are all simple ways to stay connected and help build emotional safety into your child’s home life.  

Remember 

Children are learning so much each and every day, and for children with learning differences – due to the pandemic or other reasons – that learning can look a little bit different. It is okay if your child isn’t performing in school the way you were expecting, or if one of your children is having a harder time than the others. We can’t control the world around us, but we can work to create a home environment that leaves our kids feeling emotionally safe and supported. 

It’s important to care for your own mental health too. GameTime helps parents learn how to lower stress, reframe your view of parenting challenges, and conquer limiting beliefs so you can coach your family through any season. Learn more and join today!